Dating again after being dumped
First, however, you have to realize this fact: you can’t be dumped.
Nor can you be rejected, thrown away, or abandoned. But as the relationship unfolded, you may have also begun to realize that the mutuality of commitment, your vision for the future, or your core values were polar opposites. You haven’t been dumped…you have been set free from someone who was not meant to be your life partner. It’s time to pull up the courage—because you need this quality to get over any remaining wounds.
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If you’re one of the few men to get through life without a hard breakup, our hats off to you.
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You may have put yourself in places or situations where you believed this was happening to you, but basically, you can’t be dumped unless you choose to perceive your breakup that way. If someone wants to leave, your journey is not in how to get her back. Let this experience be your wakeup call to pay attention—and let your personal value in. Trusting again means to trust yourself in walking away when all the signs are there that this relationship won’t work for you. Start taking a dignified stand for what’s important to you in life and being firm about what doesn’t represent who you are.
Start with these reflections: Remember that any information a date or partner gives you that seems to be negative is actually important for you to know. Because you don’t want to be with someone who says or acts like they don’t want to be with you. Choose to honor yourself and your standards of behavior.
Abrupt endings—that happen when things never seemed better, and without any discernible warning signs or discussions about his relationship concerns—usually have more to do with a guy’s emotional unavailability or fear of commitment. There’s so much more you want to know and all those things you forgot to say.
And you did you wonder, since it was obviously so different from the one your boyfriend was in.
Questioning whether you were completely out of touch with reality, you search for red flags you may have missed, look for everything you could have done wrong, and long for answers.
Most importantly—would you like to get over the feeling of being dumped and get on with your life? There is only one sure way to put yourself back together better than you have ever been before.
Learning to trust again starts with learning to trust yourself.
This isn’t a time to berate yourself about all the things you wish you’d done differently, or chase him to get closure—or another chance. So you’re tempted to call him, The problem is, this follow-up conversation will never, ever be satisfying.